Masculine vs. Feminine Energy

I’m going to talk about the fundamental differences between feminine and masculine energies, how they complement each other and what cultivates one or another.

Try to imagine an individual's energy as a specter of masculinity on one side and femininity on the other.

Both sexes can to some extent feel masculine or feminine and are able to fluctuate across the spectrum considering the environment they are in.


So first of all let’s expose the differences between the two energies. Masculine energy in general is about pursuing and achieving goals, pushing through barriers, competition, rational thinking and problem solving.

It’s about facing and overcoming fears, being unbothered by the outcome, stoic and emotionally stable.

A man should possess integrity, be honorable and believe in his values.

He is disagreeable and not afraid to enter a conflict, but at the same time he questions his ideas and is able to solve arguments by being rational and being able to recognize his own mistakes and shortcomings. He has an insatiable desire to protect and provide for the people around him.

To some extent each man has the biological potential to live up to these expectations. Our predisposition of producing much greater quantities of androgenic hormones, these are hormones that are predominantly present in males, for example testosterone, enable us to build a typical masculine body and behavior.

Cultivating masculinity

But for a man to live up to his expectations he must also take a lot of action. A man's character is built through life experiences. It’s built through trauma, stress, rejection, being exposed to fears and then overcoming them. Trying new things and failing countless times. For a man to be able to act as one he needs experience.

As much as it may seem cruel for a lot of men, the greatest source of inspiration to improve and overcome our own shortcomings are bullying, shaming, mocking and failure in general. Of course there are a lot of men on whom these experiences ultimately have a negative effect and eventually give up and accept the failure.

But the men who overcome such events of stress and trauma in their lives tend to build a strong character worthy of respect through that. A man who is not exposed to any challenges, uncertainties, doesn’t have to make hard decisions or overcome fears on his own during his childhood, adolescence and later in his life, will hardly develop his male traits.

He will turn out as a grown up child which is a very unrespectable state for a man in this society. He will be a person in a man's body but will at the same time be in his feminine which will make him unattractive and incompatible with most women and not respected by other men.


Female energy on the other side is about caring, connecting on a deeper level, preserving beautiful things and seeing and exposing beauty in everything, even when it seems there is none. It’s about positivity and carelessness.

A feminine woman has an insatiable desire to nurture, love, support and take care of people around her. She wants to make them feel loved and appreciated. Such a woman is like an angel on Earth. It’s a blessing to have such women around you and it makes your life a beautiful place.

Cultivating femininity

For a woman to be in such a state she must feel careless and taken care of. She must have a feeling that the main things in her life are under control and that the world is a beautiful, safe space to live in.

To some extent in this perspective women are similar to children in terms of their views and experience of the world. Of course they are more well read, educated, experienced and overall more complete human beings don’t get me wrong. But if you take a look at children they are careless, they see good in people and have an idealistic view of the world. And for a woman to be such when she grows up she must protect and preserve her childhood innocence in some sense.

For a woman to be in her feminine she usually has to have a presence of strong male figures in her childhood, let it be her father or her brothers, who she respects and feels safe around them. She must feel that whatever challenges or obstacles she may face in her life there will always be a man for her to step in and put things back in order.

Women who lack such an environment and relationships and are exposed to trauma and uncertainty often crumble under the pressure and harsh realities of the world and develop various kinds of mild or severe mental disorders or they enter their masculine.

As we stated before masculine energy is about adapting, solving problems and facing challenges. These are all skills necessary to survive on your own and a woman who lacks support from men in her life will naturally adapt and start to revert from her feminine to masculine in order to survive.

The equilibrium of romantic relationships

As you may have noticed these two types of energies and characters complement one another. That is why in a romantic relationship there is always an equilibrium of polarity. Especially in long term relationships the more masculine men tend to date the more feminine women. And the more feminine men tend to date more masculine women.

So a man who wants a relationship with a feminine woman must be deeply in his masculine to keep the woman in her feminine. He must be able to solve his and her problems, he must protect her from the ugly and bad aspects of the world we live in. He must be able to take care of her financially. He must be her rock and a drama free zone. She must feel like when he is around everything will be as it should be.

When the man abandons his masculine core

Now the more the man is able to provide such an environment the more the woman will be able to enter and stay in her feminine. But as a man starts to abandon his masculine behavior, the woman also becomes more and more masculine. The relationship loses harmony and there is a lack of clear cut responsibilities in the relationship and chaos occurs.

The romance is dead, the attraction falls. You start to act more as roommates rather than lovers. The sex disappears because there is no attraction and eventually one of you is fed up and leaves the relationship.

In such cases this is usually the woman since the man is the one who should take action in creating the right atmosphere. A woman is intrinsically feminine but will become more masculine under specific circumstances.

She will first naturally adapt to her man’s behavior but then if she has a clear understanding of what a masculine man looks like and is used to being around such men from her childhood she will eventually get fed up, leave the relationship and find a man who will let her live up to her femininity.

Trapped in a miserable relationship

This is what a young feminine woman would almost certainly do. But a lot of relationships become such later. Maybe after 20 years of marriage. Women are to some extent trapped in such relationships because their sexual market value is objectively much lower than it was in their twenties and they don’t feel comfortable reentering the dating market again.

The man would of course clearly prefer a feminine loving wife and is also unhappy in the relationship but for this to happen he must act accordingly since he is the leader in the relationship and mostly responsible for the climate.

Or if he doesn’t feel the woman is what he deserves, he should then act as a man, pull the plug, end the relationship and enable both himself and his woman to find a partner with whom they will be able to reach their full potential and maximize their happiness.

Childhood trauma and experiences

Different stages of life and different circumstances affect a person’s character differently. It is true that the current climate in the relationship will change a woman from being feminine to being more masculine but a woman that is otherwise feminine will eventually get fed up and find a relationship that suits her preferable state.

Bigger impact on individuals' character have their childhood and adolescence experiences. As stated before a woman that had a careless childhood and presence of strong male figures will develop a strong sense of femininity.

But a young woman that experiences a lot of trauma and lack of male presence in her life will grow up more masculine and since our childhood experiences have the greatest effect on our lives such patterns and behaviors are very hard to overcome.

As stated before the same goes for a man but since building and cultivating male traits requires experiences and being feminine to some extent requires a lack of experience is generally easier for a man to overcome his childhood predispositions.

For example for a very inexperienced, careless, weak 25 year old man there is still time to build his character. It may be harder and more painful than doing it during his childhood and adolescence under the guidance of his father but it’s still very possible.

As for a woman that experienced trauma and cruelness of the world as a child and then adapted to be able to deal with it, it is very hard to eradicate her negative experiences and bring back her trust for men, carelessness and innocent view of the world.

Influence of the childhood trauma on romantic relationships

Such women don’t trust men easily, don’t relax around men but always feel like they should do things on their own and prove their self worth by outcompeting men in men qualities. They will feel trapped in a relationship with dominant assertive men instead of getting a sense of security and carelessness.

Such women usually grow up to be more disagreeable because they had to doubt and evaluate everything in their lives since there was always a lack of authority, for example a father, they could trust and feel comfortable by him making decisions for them. They will pick fights with their men and often disregard their opinions and question their decisions. They would often mock him to assert themselves as a more dominant partner.

Naturally, very masculine men would avoid such relationships because they won’t tolerate such an attitude and will seek a more feminine woman that will complement their masculinity. That’s why such women usually end up in a relationship with a man that is in principle more feminine. A man that is not assertive and doesn’t put limits on their nature and behavior. A man that doesn’t want to make decisions and puts up with her flaky behavior.

Such relationships tend to work on the surface but at the end of the day both the masculine woman and the masculine man are still a woman and a man in their essence. They are still naturally inclined to feel attracted to and lust feminine women and masculine men but they have a hard time attracting and keeping such partners in their relationships for not possessing traits such a person would look for in a potential long term mate.

You as a man should be eager to learn how to act as one in order to be able to attract a feminine woman and live a happy fulfilling life.

If you are interested in expanding your understanding of relationships and as a consequence cultivate beautiful loving relationships, we warmly invite you to visit our website at

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